Monday 12th April 2010

The following events took place on Monday 12th April 2010...


Today, I receive a letter from VirginMedia - it confirms my Direct Debit instructions. It's largely correct. Just one detail wrong - the name of the account from which the Direct Debit will be taken. I thought that maybe I typed it in wrong - when you're filling in this kind of thing, there is a natural tendency, I think, to put your own name, but the way our home finances work, it's not like that - the account is called something else. My wife checked what I typed in at the time, though, and she (who is rarely, if ever wrong) confirmed that I put the right account name in. So I call VirginMedia on 0845 454 1111 (visit Virginmedia.com/callcosts for call costs) and correct it. They ask if I've had the account holder's permission to set up the Direct Debit - yeah - of course I have! :)

Having just paid the call charge detailed at Virginmedia.com/callcosts, I'm in the mood for a little "free from a landline" action! So I go ahead and call 0800 0520 691 in order to, and here I quote, "Get Set"...

OK - WOW - I'm SET.

Wanna know what happened? Well - OK - I'll tell you. It was a 2.5 minute recorded message that told me more about the installation. I should be receiving a welcome pack (not yet!) and a text message (tick). It doesn't matter if I haven't had the welcome pack because - guess what - she's going to read out the key points to me over the phone - thank you!!

When the installation dude turns up in his 5-hour pre-arranged slot, I must make sure that I'm over 18 (tick). Before that, though, I've got to think very carefully about where everything's going to go - the cables, the cable modem, the set-top box etc. I may need to re-arrange the furnature. I can just imagine the trouble I'd be in if I did this while my wife is out. The recording mentioned nothing about an interior design service!

Listening carefully, it says that my computers should have both wireless AND ethernet. If I don't have ethernet on my computer, I need to buy a Network Interface Card. Some of my computers only have Wireless, so I'll need to go out and buy some of those Network Interface Cards, right? Hmm. I don't think so. I wonder how many people do that...

The engineer, who may need an extra hour if my installation is challenging, will discuss with me the least house-ruining way of routing the cables from the street, to a little box on the outside of my house, through to the modem and set-top box. Oh, the fun we'll have!

Finally, the highly-trained professional field services representative (OK - I made that bit up - she didn't say that - think of that as pre-emptive irony on my part) will give me a tutorial on how to use my easy-to-use shiny new gear, and leave me with a Getting Started Guide.

We still have, if you've been following the deep and many-layered plot, one mystery unsolved - I'll leave that for another day...